Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
