drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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