My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
