Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
