Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Your cock deserves a montage
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
