It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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