So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
