in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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