Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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