"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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