but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
