I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
