It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
