I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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