you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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