he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
