Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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