white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
