i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
