if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
