I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
