You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
