forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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