What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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