i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
