How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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