ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I skipped work to stalk him.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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