he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Enjoy the penises
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
