I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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