His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
