Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
