So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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