I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
