How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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