Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
