i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
