Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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