There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
