I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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