Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
