Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
