so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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