you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
