sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You pole danced in your parka.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
