I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
