yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
