I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
