all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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