I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
