So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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