Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
